A picture is worth at least four hundred words

I recently took my son to the pediatrician because I suspected he had strep throat. And, while I’ve never been accused of being the sharpest tool in the shed, his fever, sore throat, loss of appetite and stomach ache were all pretty good indicators that somethin’ wasn’t right. As it turned out, my suspicions were correct, and he was immediately put on antibiotics. My point in telling you this wasn’t to gain sympathy so much as it was to demonstrate that I’m not a COMPLETE idiot. Experience and consequences have taught me quite a lot! Like that people become really nasty if you don't STOP when you approach those red octagon-shaped signs. Or that when the little truck comes around and sticks something in the mailbox, you should probably go retrieve it because, pretty soon, she’ll just start keeping all those generous gifts of envelopes and magazines. And yes, four kids and several ear infections later, I've FINALLY learned that it's best to take my children to the doctor when they are ill.

But, for some reason, I can’t seem to convince Jonah’s preschool teacher of my exceptional intelligence. She keeps trying to EXPLAIN everything to me. EXPLICITLY. And sometimes, even INCORRECTLY. Case in point, the following picture of a monkey puking:

It says: “A monkey throwing bananas in the trash can.”

Clearly, the monkey isn’t throwing bananas into the trash can. The monkey only has one arm and it has something ELSE in it. A tissue, maybe, to clean his face afterward. We’ll never know because the artist has since forgotten what that was. But I say, if you feel compelled to explain what the picture is, then explain it right, darn it.

Like this next picture:


Why did she not consult with Jonah before ruining an otherwise frameable piece of art? Because if she had, she would most obviously know that this is not “a snowman with 2 double x’s” but “a snowman with two big STAR buttons”:

And this is clearly not “a happy face!” but “a thirsty snowman-head”:



And I'd like to believe that this is NOT a “half red man and half black man” but maybe a “multi-racial men’s room sign:”



I didn’t bother Jonah with it because I finally understood the jest of the captions. It’s not about what the pictures REALLY illustrate, but how to make all the pictures, and by association, all the CHILDREN nice and normal. That, or she just thinks they don’t come much more dim-witted than me. And maybe she's right. But I DO know art when I see it: