Liberace’s the name, Tenuous Connection’s the game

Moobs had this really cool idea for a blog post. He asked his readers to come up with a tenuous connection to a celebrity. The cheesier the celebrity, the better you scored. Anyway, it sounded fun, so I began to beat my memory with a stick to find something.

I have to tell you, though, it was one of the more difficult tasks I’ve ever burdened myself with. Almost as difficult as the self-inflicted task of removing wallpaper. ALMOST. You see, when you and yours have never lived remotely near a coast of any sort, or you’ve never known anyone personally who’s job is or was much more glamorous than, say, a school superintendent. And you are somewhat reclusive by nature anyway, so conversations with loved ones (or otherwise) about tenuous connections to the rich and famous can aptly be described as unrevealed at worst, forthcoming at best… it’s pretty dang hard to come up with a connection to a famous person! Even tenuously. Even when the famous people are cheesier than Velveeta.

But I’ll tell you what doesn’t help AT ALL. My memory. It’s for crap sometimes. It’s funny the things I remember. But what’s funnier is the things that I DON’T. (Well, for the sake of dignity, I choose to see this as funny.) For example, I remember being called chunky for most of my childhood by some people. But I can't tell you EXACTLY who those word aficionados are, for some reason. Also, I can remember the face of the girl I hung out with when I went to middle school in Las Vegas. I remember her London Fog coat that she never took off, her oversized glasses, her matted curls that I always wanted to pick the lint from… I can even remember her scent which I now know is a pretty typical scent for an eleven-year-old. But, for the life of me, I CAN’T remember her name. I KNOW, horrible isn't it?!

Now, in my defense, if you were to squish my entire history into a 24-hour day, my time in Vegas would average about 2.5 seconds. But STILL. How can I not remember this sweet girl’s name and yet I remember her hair lint?! Anyway, my point is that I think I DO have more tenuous connections than I am giving myself credit for. For example, I had a real estate agent who was a bodyguard in his younger days. He watched over some pretty famous people of the eighties… I’m PRETTY SURE they were famous. Hulk Hogan, maybe? Or maybe it was the Incredible Hulk actor... you know... what’s-his-face?? But there’s also a co-worker of mine who lived in Georgia and knew one of the ex-presidents… Reagan?? Ford?? Maybe Carter?? Very very frustrating. And then, of course, there’s my lovely husband Allan. He’s traveled the world over. And, now that I think about it, he’s lived on BOTH coasts… And, let me see here… because HE has a razor-sharp memory and friends in high and low places and therefore probably knows SOMEBODY with a halfway glamorous job, I’m SURE he could qualify me under the “tenuous connection” requirement… But has he shared those tenuous connections with me? Hmmm… I. Can’t. THINK! I’d ask him but, very unfortunately, he’s sleeping right now.

So in closing, I’d like to come clean here: even my final answer was iffy. I remember my dad coming home one day and saying, “Hey, I saw Liberace today! At the mall!” But the more I think about it, maybe he said, “I saw Liberace on a TV at the mall!” And that would just be way too tenuous, wouldn’t it? Actually, I think that would disqualify me altogether! Surely he wouldn’t have announced such a silly thing as Liberace on TV…

I guess I’m stickin’ with my story. Dad DID see Liberace. And it wasn't in concert. And I DID get nominated over at Moobs’ place, and I think I even got one vote. So a shout-out to Liberace and all his glorious cheesiness. (May he be resting in peace on a heart-shaped bed in a piano-filled heaven somewhere.)

Sweatpantsmom already participated, but I’d like to hear some other tenuous connections to famous cheesy people out there! Anyone? Anyone?