Friday, August 17, 2007

Speaking of books...

A word of advice: Don't take a "What book represents you best?" kind of quiz if you're feeling the least bit depressed about the state of the world, the instability of our economy, trapped miners and broken bridges, earthquakes, hurricanes, occupations, empirical bodies of corrupt government, kids starting fifth grade in three days, nights getting cooler, legs getting flabbier... not to mention the adult acne coming up like condos all over that prime piece of real estate called your T ZONE as if to say, "Sorry, but we've got to do SOMETHING to make this place look younger. And smoothing out the frown lines ain't in the cards, lady. Too pricey. Not enough equity built up. More bang for the buck, ya know? Adult acne's the new Botox. Nothing says youth like acne."

DON'T DO THE QUIZ because you just might end up with the following answer and then you've just blown your chance of ever becoming not depressed anymore:




You're One Hundred Years of Solitude!

by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Lonely and struggling, you've been around for A VERY LONG TIME.Conflict has filled most of your life and torn apart nearly everyone you know. Yet there is something majestic and even epic about your presence in the world. You love life all the more for having seen its decimation. After all, it takes a village.



"After all, it takes a village." Nice touch. And I'm sure I'll figure out what that means in relation to the rest of the analysis after another margarita.

I know, I know. I should be honored to be linked to such a renowned piece of literature, however insignificant the link may be. It's a great story, no question, what with all its social and political allegory... But COME ON. The quiz asked me if I felt young or old. I said young. Fresh-from-the-farm YOUNG. Forget whether it's true or not, that was my final answer.

So tell me, blupyramid.org, was it the fact that I answered yes to the Oprah question? Is it because I'm long-winded? Prefer a hot climate? Chose Latin America to question number six? I want answers. And NOT the kind that infer I'm in the triple digits. Call me lonely, call me struggling, call me a village if you must. Just don't be callin' me a hundred years old, dammit. I've got acne.

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4 comments:

  1. There's cream for that you know...

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Maybe it means you have an old soul-you know, spiritually. I hate to tell you but even when you are a grandmother, you will still get a pimple here and there. There is no justice.

    ReplyDelete
  3. pfft. My zits rolled with laughter at the creams, Gringa. Zit condos don't come down so easily.

    Linda: I'm sure this quiz thing was meant to be taken in the best possible way. I'm just feeling more facetious than usual. It's like I get strange pleasure out of announcing to the world what time of the month it is!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey! I have acne too! I knew I liked you for a reason!

    ReplyDelete

 
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