On your mark… get set… help me!

I spent this past weekend Swiffering floorboards, alphabetizing the medicine cabinet and organizing my refrigerator magnets into the shape of a smiley face. I prioritized my junk mail in order of most unimportant to least unimportant, trimmed my cuticles, washed the car and disinfected dangerously small toys, too. I did everything I will no doubt decide NEEDS TO BE DONE when I develop a particularly nasty case of Writer’s Blockitis in the next few days which will notoriously be exasperated by a vicious attack of Hang Fire.

Pull out any old dictionary worth its salt and you should find an unflattering picture of me next to the word PROCRASTINATOR. The good news is that I am savvy to this alter ego nemesis of mine and have now done everything in my power to thwart her attempts to sabotage MY attempt to win this year’s NANOWRIMO challenge. I know her like I know the back of her hand (it looks so much like mine). And so I have stocked up on vitamin C and Echinacea for when she suddenly feels a cold coming on. I went ahead and bought two-thirds of the grocery story while I was there, too. (even though I have declared November to be Eat Processed Food To Your Heart’s Content month just in case my inner demon decides this would be a GREAT time to learn how to make ratatouille.) I changed sheets and cleaned out my purse and finally finished reading March. I absentee voted, for crying out loud… even though I live a couple of blocks from my polling place. I’ve even enlisted the help of my oldest child. See, I don’t normally write until all children have been put to bed, and so Toni never really sees me plucking gray hairs and exfoliating my feet when I should instead be slaving over a hot keyboard. So I can’t actually assign her the task of WRITER ENCOURAGER. But what she CAN do is remind me to go pluck my gray hairs and exfoliate my feet while the sun is still out. Or better yet, maybe she could just do it for me! Either way, I MUST maximize the daytime hours so that I don’t have a long list of menial crap to divert my attention once my babies are whisked away by Mr. Sandman and the evening becomes my imagination’s for the taking. I suppose I could just seek the aid of some strong prescription medication to quell my anxiety. But, in theory, I will be a lean, mean, writing machine and, theoretically speaking, wouldn’t want my inner drama queen desensitized, either. What to do. What to do. I don’t actually SOUND anxious, do I?? A sane person might actually conclude that I don’t even LIKE to write. Oh, but I do! I do! It’s deadlines that make my skin crawl! And yet I NEED THEM. Even if they give me cold sores. And restless leg syndrome. And chapped lips. And zits. Is it just me or is it kinda hot in here?! How many days are left now, TWO??? ONE???

In case I forget to tell you later, Happy Halloween!! Happy Veteran’s Day! Happy America Recycles Day! And the happiest Thanksgiving to you EVER.

Good luck, fellow participants!!