You can always tell when I’m quoting Jonah on this blog by my sudden propensity to misspell. Forever becomes FOWEVAH. Star is a STAH. Bourgeoisie is nixed from my vocabulary altogether. A shrewd person might actually come to the conclusion that I not only like his speech impediment but get drunk off of its cuteness. If so, you would not just be shrewd but right. Nonetheless, I HAVE sought the assistance of a professional. And not for me, thank you very much. Earlier this year a speech therapist evaluated Jonah’s verbal communication and assessed the damage. Her conclusion? That he speaks quite normal for his age. That he is developmentally right on schedule, if not slightly ahead of it. “But what about those Rs?” I anxiously asked. “Can you understand him?” she asked back. “Well, now I can. He’s come a long way in the last year.” “So what’s the problem?” she asked. “The problem is that he says fwom instead of from. The word is FROM.” If I was hard-pressed to fix that involuntary aversion to the letter R of his, she suggested that I merely REPEAT the words that he isn’t saying correctly.
So I tried. And it went something like this:
“Mom, look at that bwight stah!”
“Look at that BRRRIGHT STARRR?”
This would be where he stares at me like I’m some kind of idiot. “Uh. Yeah. Awe you having twouble heawing me, Mom?”
“No. I’m not having TRRROUBLE HEARRING you. Where’s that STARRRR you were talking about?”
“Ovuh theh.”
“Oh, OVERRR THERRRE! I see it.”
“What’s WONG with you, Mom? You awe talking kinda cwazy.”
It WAS cwazy. And tiresome. Not to mention useless. So I gave up on it and figured I’d let the cuteness continue for as long as this world would tolerate it. I’m thinking not much further than junior high, no? And I can surely abide it for another six years because I CAN understand him… that is UNTIL he starts talking his TV jargon.
“Mom, awe The Simpsons Adult Swim?”
“Are The Simpsons WHAT?”
“Adult Swim.”
“Adult WHAT?”
“SWIM.”
“ADULT SWIM??”
“Yes, SWIM, Mom! ADULT SWIM. ADULT… SWIMMM.”
I repeated the question in my head: Are The Simpsons adult swim?
“Nope, I don’t get it. What the heck do you mean, son?”
“AAHH! I just want to know if The Simpsons awe ADULT SWIM! Why can’t you evah unduhstand me?!”
Adult Swim. It’s not just those late-night hours when we big people can do a few laps at the Y anymore. Who knew?!
It will happen one day. You'll stop and think....sheesh where did the /w/ go? You're modeling for him with the language you use everyday--and he's taking it in.
ReplyDeleteWell, that works unless you actually are saying....I'm afwaid that you will speak that way fowevah. (And I don't think you are!) :)
That was just too cute...
ReplyDeleteOne of my girlfriends has TWO kids that sound like they were raised in the Bronx. They have that thick, thick accent...
And they have never been out of Canada!
aww he was saying it right ! lol. thats too cute though. i think its cute when kids talk like that! i had a friend all through HS that always talked liek that. she never did get "cured" of her impediment!
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY knew what he was saying.
ReplyDeleteAdult Swim rocks. Even if the Simpsons aren't on it.
I have started writing things down that my kids say wrong that are cute because I already have started to forget some of them. Surely, it won't last forever, I would just enjoy it while you can!
ReplyDeleteHHAA!! "Adult Swim"...who knew? Well...I guess HE did.
ReplyDeleteI always feel bad when I can't understand one of the kids...they look at you and just give up. It makes you feel terrible inside.
ReplyDeleteLOL. He gotta ya that time, eh? hee hee
ReplyDeleteI "heart" Jonah. Your stories of him always bring a smile to my face :)
ReplyDeleteThat. Is. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteJonah is the coolest. I love his "awes". That whole blood pwesha business is etched in my bwain fowevah.