I have ridden a snowmobile at 11,000 feet elevation on a trail half the width of my five foot one body. After getting stuck and digging out more times than I can remember, and after mismanaging speed and my body weight enough that it eventually rolled over me on its way back downhill, I bounced to my feet and called it a day. The impressive part is that I did it WITHOUT losing a limb or lung or beckoning the assistance of a paramedic. More recently, I drove my government-issued pickup into deep, deep sugary sand somewhere in the vicinity of BFE and had to walk back to the office because my stubborn self refuses to join modern society and buy a cell phone. On the long, winding, windy walk back, I fought off stray dogs and ran into bigots and wrestled with bees that wanted to get to know me at a deeply personal level. Luckily, I came out much alive and victorious at the end of that ordeal, as well. I've taught myself to knit and quilt, play rudimentary piano and speak some sign language. I'm also writing my second novel. What do all these things have in common? They make me dern-right impressed with myself when I put them on webpage.
AND THEN the day comes when I get a hankering to post new pictures of my kids online. ALL TOGETHER. 'Cause, let's face it, THEY are my most favoritest achievement of all. So Mr. Smartypants wise guy that resides in my brain tells me to go get the camera. Wise guy says, "Go ahead. Take a picture," and in so doing, he takes a long, sharp needle to my big, round pride-filled bubble head. I HAVE to blame Mr. Wiseguy. 'Cause Lord knows that I wouldn't set myself up for failure that way.
I just can't do it. I can't take a photograph worthy of love and adoration, much less effusive pride. One where people aren't blinking or turned or hiding behind a doll. NOT POSSIBLE. The camera is a lot like the kitchen stove in that we are not what you'd call a mortar and pestle. Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. Eggs and bacon. The eighties and hairspray. We don't mesh or blend or even PRETEND to go together. We are more like Paulie Shore and, oh, I dunno, a four-star movie?? Cats and baths?? Scallywags and the contemporary English language? I'm sure you get my drift.
If not, here's the living proof. It's a good thing they're cute kids anyway. Seeee?
More convincing evidence...
More still...
you "can't take a photograph worthy of love and adoration, much less effusive pride"? Put the crack pipe down and step away from the booze bottle, love. Those are gorgeous pictures, worthy of every once of love and adoration possible and if you're lacking in the effusive pride, check yourself into a mental ward. Professional portraits? Get real. They're always fake. No one smiles and looks directly into a camera unless they're forced to. Keep your "imperfect" candid shots--they show who your kids really are--little bundles of perfection.
ReplyDeleteOOOkay, maybe LOVE... but only because I'm partial to their faces, even when they're covered in snot mixed with breadcrumbs and ketchup.
ReplyDeleteI agree with every word Doc says. Those are beautiful pictures! They show off their personalities and their quirks, the things you love the most about them! I have professional portraits of my munchkins coming out my ears, but the pics I truly treasure are the ones with the cheesy grins, the frowns, and the snot mixed with breadcrumbs and ketchup, because that's how kids really are. I dont want to remember a fake image of what some one else thinks my kids should be. I want pictures like yours!
ReplyDeleteOh those pictures! Those kids!
ReplyDeleteI just want to squeeze them!
You are such a humble but amazing photographer.
Oh, those are sooo much better than the professional shots! Your kids are just gorgeous! OK, don't tell the boys I said that! But they are. Tell the boys I said handsome, OK?
ReplyDeleteAwww, they're so cute. It is a cute pic, but I know the feeling. I have a 'poser' and we get ghastly shots. Your pictures are still better than fakey posed ones. :)
ReplyDeletethose are really good candid shots. you're just being too subjective about your skills.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean, b/c I think the same thing. but still, "our own worst critic" mean anything? yeah.
I think the snaps are excellent.
I only needed one of those photos to convince me. Those ARE the cutest kids ever (besides my own of course :))
ReplyDeletebut these are the funnest kinda pics!!! the candid cute ones! i ilove it!
ReplyDeleteThose shots were great!
ReplyDeleteI esecially love your wee one in green looking at your boy in a 'I'm not too sure about you kinda look...' While he gives that great smile...And then for some reason your wee one in the pink gives a look that concurs with the green...
and the eldest is just confident and knows the photo drill...
I love those kind of photographs. They are the real ones.
ReplyDeleteYou got yourself some sweet babies there:)
I'll take candids over posed shots anyday. Candids capture reality, and the reality here is that you have four beautiful - and FUN! - children.
ReplyDeleteSee? You are the shizz.
ReplyDeleteAnd you're children are so damn beautiful. The little shizz in the back CRACKS me up in all of these photos. She's just like, "Dude...get me out of here."