Summer Bummer

The first official day of summer has come and gone, and I totally missed it. Snowcones, swimming pools and sunscreen? Nowhere to be found. Then again, I can’t find sanity, sympathy, and salt-water tears shed on my behalf, either. It’s as if summer looked at my house and said, “What are those idiots doing cooped up with no air conditioning? Don’t they know I’M HERE?! Lordy, even that woman’s BLOG has the curtains drawn!! No love lost, I’ll just mosey on over to the neighbor’s grill, where people are actually CELEBRATING my presence out on their freshly-mowed lawns with their mimosas and music blaring.”

I don’t blame summer one bit. Instead of soaking in the sun, we’ve been soaking in Pepto, lukewarm baths, ibuprofen, cough suppressant and allergy medications. Yesterday, my baby’s insides became claustrophobic from all that stifling fever and decided to come back up again for a bit of fresh air. My oldest, who suffers with severe allergies, came back from visiting her father covered in mosquito bites. She pulled out her allergy eye drops and said, “If I put this on my bites, will they quit itching?” Meanwhile, I haven’t planned a summer activity one. Or TWO, for that matter. What for? People are sneezing and wheezing and puking! Who wants to be around us?! I kinda mentioned I had been ill a couple of posts ago. But now illness has spread among the masses. Only now it’s morphing, evolving, wearing fluorescent colors and flying around my living room like a psychedelic butterfly on crack. I’ve spent the majority of my time these past few days chasing it, trying to smash it with my flip-flop. But, alas, it’s quicker and smarter than I am. I’m spent. You know it’s bad when you can’t even steal five minutes to visit your favorite blogs. And now I feel guilty for all that precious time I wasted trying to learn html codes when I could have been working on a plan of attack so that we can snatch at least one sick-free day out of summer, being that summer is more fleeting around here than the gossip about Paula Abdul’s rumored affair with Corey Clark. I’m just afraid I’m going to wake up in the next few days and learn that it’s already time to shop for school supplies.

Just do me a favor -- go enjoy some summer for me, okay?