I'm inducting myself

First, thank you, Cameo, Wordgirl, Mom-101, Mama Mia, and Marcie. Right when I begin to think that blogging is stupid and I’m stupid and who do I think I am, someone relevant?! An epiphany of sorts transpires to keep me from packing up my blogging bag. And here is one — there is this awe-inspiring community comprised of kind, funny, uplifting, generous women who have the commanding ability to make me feel better with the simple act of tapping their fingers on a keyboard in a meaningful way, hundreds of miles from here. I find that amazing. They live in apartments out in the boroughs of New York, or warm, little homes in the Midwest. They make dinners and feed children and do laundry, and still find time to reach out and touch people like me. They are NOT stupid or irrelevant, and their presence makes me believe that maybe I’m not, either.

I’ve come to realize that blogging is not just an exercise in writing, but also in participation, which is something that has never come easy to me. The reason that I enjoy writing so much is because it’s a solitary endeavor that has allowed me to love people. But mostly in the way that my son Jonah loves ants. It’s examination and admiration, but also creepy and condescending. I watch and listen and take notes, but I hardly ever participate in real life. So when someone wants to invite me to share or contribute or take part of something on a regular basis, the prior-epiphanized me would slowly turn around looking for the nearest exit, sweating, panicking, sprinting out the door. I’m sure there’s a psychologist out there who could give a two-hour dissertation on my probs and how I’m afraid of rejection or maybe just alien abduction, but it’s still nothing more than an excuse in the end. So as someone who has never been a member of a church group. Or a book club. Or a society of any kind. I’d like to try my hand at being an active member of the blogger’s guild. It’s not huge or even praiseworthy but it’s a start. And maybe one of you out there can take comfort in knowing that there’s a woman sittin’ on the west bank of the Rio Grande who appreciates YOUR online presence and enjoys YOUR virtual company, however fleeting it may be. So thanks again. And you were not intruding, Mama Mia, any more than a neighbor coming over to offer me a band-aid when she sees that I cut my big toe with some hedge clippers… or something like that.

By the way, my dad seems to be showing signs of improvement. So thanks again for all the positive vibes you sent over. I wholeheartedly believe it helped.