It was a chilly night along the Rio Grande. The wind was calm and the moon was so bright I could see the usually-hidden tangle of deer antlers all along the banks. After a long day at work, I thought the evening was perfect for a midnight stroll. BLOG stroll. Anyway, on my stroll I wandered upon a lovely lady’s web log where I discovered that she and I have a few things in common. For one, she’s a mother; I’m a mother. She’s thirtysomething; I’m thirtysomething. And, finally, she knows and loves the one, the only, the immortal Lestat. I have a soft spot for this beautiful maker of the meloncholic Louis as well. Aahh, Lestat, the Brat Prince. His beauty. His music. His arrogance and distaste for the blood of rats. What’s not to love?! I left a comment on this woman’s blog saying hello and kept right on strolling. But I knew I would be back for a visit again. It was Lestat that drew me in. And so I did. Come back, that is…. Only to find out that my commonality with this woman came to a loud, screeching halt and, actually, everything that I thought I had in common with her before became highly insignificant BECAAUUSSE her subsequent post proclaimed that she’s… an…. Oprah-hater. YES. I KNOW. WHO hates Oprah??? WHO?!
She said the show is “all about her.” HER being Oprah. I’m sorry. WHAT??? You mean, that woman who gave 100% of donated Katrina Hurricane money to some of the victims?? Not 10%. Not 50%. Not even 99.9%. No, she gave 100 PERCENT. And just to show the government at all levels just how much more efficient than them she can be with money and resources, she didn’t just furnish houses, she FURNISHED them. As in beds and tables and dishes and curtains and maybe even toilet bowl cleaners, she’s THAT efficient.
Let’s see, what else? She has sent poor kids to college, given an entire audience new cars. She has kept lots of small businesses from going under and made a large handful of unknown authors filthy rich. For crying out loud, she even gave Tom Cruise an arena to display his exhilaration of life with Katie. All this and she isn’t even a game show host! The woman grew up in a place where there was NO RUNNING WATER. She was molested. Abused. Lost a baby when she was all of sixteen. I could go on, but isn’t this enough?? My God. If the show is ALL about her, I say let it be. This world’s a MUCH more pleasant place because she was born. If nothing else, she has given inconsequential me something to look forward to every month. And when something bad happens and my O magazine turns up MISSING from my mailbox , I am in an all-out lather, trying to talk myself out of putting the money on the counter at the grocery store for the issue that was SUPPOSED to be in my mailbox and isn’t, for some malicious reason.
So if you didn’t already guess by now, I had to immediately leave this woman’s site because I was afraid if I kept reading she would tell me that she hated babies’ breath and sunshine, the smell of fresh coffee and warm, fuzzy slippers.
WHO HATES OPRAH???
Do me a favor, and don’t answer that.
THAT WOMAN IS NOT HUMAN.
ReplyDeleteI laughed, hard at this post, especially at the part about waiting for the Oprah magazines. My husband has often commented on the duplicate O issues lying around the house. As if I could take the chance of missing an issue.
(Here is my homage to Oprah.)
(bizarre about our lipstick-hoarding Kira/Kyras. I don't have an owl-collecting neighbor but I do have a gynecologist that collects frogs and Garfield dolls. Should i be worried?)
As much as I'd like to agree with you, I find that every time I switch on Oprah, she's all about the product. Sorry. Commercial is as commercial does.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to know who hates Oprah, log onto the urbanbaby message boards around, say 4pm EST and click on the toddler board. You'll see exactly who hates Oprah. (And I'm with you - she done good. But I also agree with that always controversial commenter, Anonymous. However it's a small price to pay for the altruism we get in return. Just my humble opinion.)
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