Holy crap, Frank, I think I've got it

Aahh ah ahahahaaa, aahh ah ahahahaaa
What will you do if we let you go home,
And the plastic's all melted,
And so is the chrome?
WHO ARE THE BRAIN POLICE?

Did anyone ever answer that question for Frank Zappa? Because I’d like to know myself. There’s a tug of war thing going on in my brain and I could use someone to come in and either break up the fight or pick a winner or maybe just slap my poor brain silly because it’s acting like an overextended, wishy-washy bureaucrat. See, I’m loving Central Ave. Press for giving me some concrete items to fix in Rosetta Stones and examples of HOW and even a few WHYs which is kinda like getting a yummy sugarless sucker (if such a thing exists) at the end of a dental visit where you’ve just had your roots canaled or canals rooted, whichever tends to be the most painful. And maybe there’s a better metaphor out there, but the brain is currently preoccupied so this will have to do. Anyway, I NEEDED that sucker to ease the pain associated with the drilling and filling. And now that I’ve sucked on it awhile, HALF my brain is not only ready but excited to sit down and implement the changes. But because the edits were so succinct and helpful and everything I could have ever hoped for, the other half of my head is suffering from performance anxiety because time is of the essence and so is my ability to get it right after all that succinction in the HOWs and the WHYs. It’s making excuses like, “Gee, I think we need more time to ruminate… come up with a game plan, ya know?” Meanwhile the other half isn’t buying it. “Cut with the crap and let’s get busy!” it’s shouting. Why can’t both sides just work out a plan of action?! Pull themselves together??

I readily admit that this is craziness. And also a GREAT problem to have as far as problems go. SO much better than, say, rheumatoid arthritis. BUT… BUT… You see where I could use a brain police right now to come in and issue it a ticket for driving too slow or not yielding to common sense or maybe just a warning for a broken headlight? Because, really, it does seem pretty dim in there right now.

But, THEN AGAIN… putting the brain in time out while taking a deep breath and sitting down and blogging unreservedly about mental probs, AND THEN having brain read it over just before posting is a lot like calling in a brain police… Wow, who knew?! We will be leaving you now.