Zen, Books, Linkalots, Male Hairstylists and My Susceptibility to their Charisma

I've really been into this spiritual, self-help, pull-your-crap-together phase here lately. This summer alone, I've read A New Earth, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life. I've also read Pillars of the Earth, In the Woods, The Golden Compass, Run, On the Road, and All the President's Men since summer started. I mention these latter books because they, too, had aspects of insight into what's important and why I do the things that I do.... which leads me to that obvious subject of MY HAIR.

Remember that old topic?

Allan tells me that I am... how does he put it? Allergic to insinuation? No, that's not it. The culprit of indicision? No, no.... WAIT. I know. I am PRONE TO SUGGESTION!!

My regular readers certainly know that I am. Which is part and parcel to why I asked YOU, my lovely blogging friends to weigh in on the whole Dying My Hair thing.

So what the hell does my hair have to do with self-help books, spirituality, and All The President's Men you ask? Well, I've just realized that it's all about living NOW. It's about NOT waiting for some nebulous day in the future for things to get all better, to look better, to FEEL better. If Nixon had only quit worrying so much about those popular, good-looking, charismatic Democrats taking over the world IN THE FUTURE, he might have realized that he had the election of 1972 in the bag RIGHT NOW without all that burglary and sabotage. So it's all about RIGHT NOW! And RIGHT NOW I decided to quit being half-assed about everything including, but not limited to, that dead material covering my whitish-gray scalp. So.... I did it. I asked my sister Irene to drive me to the local Wal-Mart. I asked my mom to don the plastic gloves, and I went with LOREAL NATURAL MATCH DARK BROWN AMMONIA-FREE HAIR COLOR #4N - KIT. And guess what? It looks EXACTLY the same as it did before, back when it was NOT gray. Now I can go on trying to write the great American novel, save the Earth and raise four children into self-sustaining humans only now I'll look fabulous while I'm doing it.

But the story doesn't end there. Oh no. I recently took a stroll down a hidden street in a beautiful city near a FANTASTIC beach and LO! I passed this salon SCREAMING AT ME to come inside and check out all the beautiful ART on their neon orange walls. It was all so innocent, I tell you. It had NOTHING to do with the fact that I was bored with my newly-dyed tresses. But then Mr. Beautiful Male Hairstylist came up to me and made some comment about my bone structure and the need for it to be EMPHASIZED. I could tell you that I was feeling frumpy, outdated, and desperately wanting some form of hairstyle that would camouflage my recent outbreak of adult acne. But no. I'm telling you, it was the MUSIC, the magnificent ART, the MAGIC in Beautiful Male Hairstylist's expert voice and...okay, maybe it was also my proneness to suggestion that did it. I walked out of the salon with a sassy do that took my hairstylist (NOT Male Hairstylist but someone equally magnificent) several hours to wash, cut and style for me. "It's so EASY," she informed me. "You just need to roll the ceramic brush LIKE THIS. And put THIS addy on the blow dryer and THEN, while the flat iron is getting all hot, you spritz this liquidy gel and then dab on some pomade goodness. But only AFTER you switch from the big roll ceramic brush to the smaller deluxe paddle brush with the air cushion base and natural bristles." I walked out of there feeling like a cross between Rihanna and Jenny McCarthy.

And then I went home. Where there are no blow-dryer addies, no p0made goodness, no deluxe brushes or flat irons, if you can believe it. Needless to say, I'm looking more like this:

So pictures of ME may or may not be forthcoming. Don't hold your breath. I'm looking for the self-help book that tells suggests to me that Marylin Manson is beautiful, too. RIGHT NOW. And... maybe one that says being half-assed is okay as well.